Ask any woman in America if they’ve been played, and I can guarantee you at least 97% of them would tell you yes. I’m your host, Lane, and welcome to getting played 101. Men: they need to get their act together! Let’s start off by saying if a man will not give your relationship a title and call you his girlfriend (or boyfriend) then you do not mean enough to him. If he introduces you by saying you’re his friend, then have no doubt that is all you are. This is blunt and may feel brutal but it’s simply the truth. He sees you as a placeholder, a pit stop until he finds someone else to be with. If a man cares about you enough, he is willing to tell anybody and everybody that you’re someone he’s serious about. And in you’re heart, you know this. You just keep making up excuses because you’re scared for him to leave you or truly express that he does not feel the same way about you that you do for him. When a man gives you a title, that means he has professed his intentions with you and has plans for you to be a part of his future. You can probably trace a whole host of the pathologies exhibited by the most trifling of men back to their inability to commit. You see, when a woman cares about you, she will give you her very best and then some. She will continuously try to win you over, even when you act like everything she has done and given you isn’t good enough. Men are simple creatures. They’re confusing and will make you overthink every single thing, but they’re simple. Yet the repercussions of their ill-suited actions will tear you apart, and this is precisely why if your seemingly eligible new man shows any of the following signs (aka red flags) you need to RUN and save yourself from heartbreak and potential long term misery. Everyone keep score of the red flag count, let’s dive right into it. Red Flag #1 - if a man continuously makes promises to you and never follows through, meaning that he vows to do something or treat you a certain way and never shows you through his actions, then he is playing you. RUN! Red Flag #2 - he ghosts you randomly/leaves you on open or read for days at a time, this shows that he A) doesn’t really care about talking to you or B) is toying with your feelings- either way, just end it there. Red Flag #3 - he doesn’t respect your boundaries. A healthy relationship involves respecting one another's boundaries, this is something that players typically struggle to do. They'll expect you to be free when they want to hang out but won't accommodate to your schedule and then proceed to blame you for not being available. Remember, when a guy is playing you he is only interested in his own desires and couldn’t care less about your own. Don’t settle for anything less than what you truly deserve. Now I could go on and on about this but I want to address ways in which you know a guy wants to be with you because all hope is not lost, I swear, you just have to find the right guy. If a guy remembers small details about you, especially if you haven’t discussed whatever it was that he remembered, he likes you or plans on using that in the future, this means he considers you to be a part of his future. If he reciprocates the same energy into you that you give to him, he CARES! If he respects your boundaries and your time, then he either likes you or is a gentleman. At this point, the bare minimum has become equivalent to someone not treating you like a worthless piece of garbage. But I’m at fault for accepting that too. Remember: if he wanted to, he WOULD. Be wise with who you give your heart too. You’ll find your person, it takes time.
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